Image courtesy of MemeMonkey.com
Recently we updated our robot vacuum. I'm ashamed to say we killed the first one, and he--Bob was his name--died a violent and untimely death. RIP, Bob.
We muddled along the old fashioned way for several years until Copper's shedding finally got the better of us, and we realized we needed mechanical housecleaning help.
Off I went on a shopping spree and came home with a new vacu-bot made by Shark. During the course of setting up the wireless app (thank you, Bigger), we were asked what we wanted to name said vacu-bot. Cubby promptly said "Charlie" based on her favorite vintage Scooby-Doo episode of Charlie The World's Greatest Robot. I'll let you Google that episode rather than bore you with the details.
Once Charlie was all hooked up to our computer network, we turned him on and set him loose. I must say, I was duly impressed! He didn't get stuck in the toe kick under the kitchen cupboards, and he fit under the loveseat in the living room. Go Charlie! Plus, he did a pretty amazing job at sucking up Copper's fluff.
I will add here that an added bonus that isn't mentioned anywhere is that because we have to clear the pathway for Charlie, we do a lot more picking up than has been true in the past. Don't judge.
I will also say that in the Charlie-versus-yarn combat, yarn will eventually win because it chokes Charlie and he passes out in the middle of the floor until someone pulls the yarn out.
The whole connect-the-robot-to-the-network thing triggered a conversation about other household conveniences.
This is going to take an odd turn now, so if you're squeamish or easily offended by bodily functions...please stop reading right now.
Captain has always had a fascination with bidets. He thinks they are an amazing invention and should be installed in everyone's bathroom.
I looked at him and said, "I have one word for you: enema." 'Nuff said.
He debated with me that they were ecologically friendly because no one would have to kill trees to make toilet paper anymore, they would result in reduced water usage nation wide, and they were sanitary because no matter what the Charmin Bears say, using toilet paper can be messy.
I love our planet as much as the next person. I've watched every single one of Sir David Attenborough's documentaries.
However.
I'm not sure I'm ready to give up my dependence upon toilet paper yet.
Besides, it just seems to me that using a stingy stream of water for this purpose is like trying to clean your car by spraying the hose on it. Sometime you just gotta use some elbow grease and a cloth!
And let me tell you, every mama out there knows that there is a fricking good reason that baby wipes are moisture-based.
If there is someone out there reading this who agrees with Captain, more power to you! Just please don't ask me to ride that ride.
