They say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I take that to mean you should head off potential problems at the pass before they become actual problems.
Captain takes this to mean that some guy who maybe smoked a little too much weed had way too much time on his hands and made up a stupid saying that would give his--Captain’s--wife some ammunition for nagging him.
In our world, I am the impulsive/proactive one and Captain is the methodical/reactive one. That seems sort of mutually exclusive, doesn’t it?
Let me expound.
I am the one who goes to the grocery store and just throws crap in the cart so I can get the hell out of dodge. That’s impulsive. Captain is the one who compares the price per unit, nutrition label, and sale prices. That’s methodical.
Yet, I am the one who will want to get new tires on the truck when the tread gets worn down to a certain level. That’s proactive. Captain will wait to get new tires after he has had a flat tire. Three times. In the same tire. That’s reactive.
I don’t know if this is a guy thing or just a farmer thing or even just a Captain thing. All I know is, sometimes it is annoying. Captain’s most famous comeback for anything is “It’ll be fine.” I’m thinking of having his headstone engraved with “Well, it’s not fine, is it?”
Conversely, Captain is also the one who goes into instant crisis mode over inconsequential things like spilling some milk on the counter. We all know what they say about spilled milk, right? Captain doesn’t just cry over it, there is much wailing, gnashing of teeth, and self-degradation involved.
Dude, cut the prima dona act and just wipe up the freaking milk and move on with your life.
If Captain is present and you get a paper cut, he will try and convince you to go to the emergency room for a tetanus shot because you could die. If you are with Captain and you get a major gash on your shin because you miscalculated and walked right into the hitch on the back of the truck...he will tell you one of two things: (1) It’s a long way from your heart or (2) It will be better by the time you get married. But he will try and convince you to go to the doctor for a tetanus shot anyway.
He’s like Jekyll and Hyde, and we are never quite certain who will show up for the party on any given day. Keeps life interesting.
If he happens to walk past my home office door and I am mumbling under my breath about anything, nine times out of ten he will say “Do you want me to call someone and reprimand them?”
Sure, call Bill Gates and tell him Excel isn’t always a user-friendly program and it makes my life miserable sometimes. You get right on that and let me know how it works for you.
In deference to fair play, I will say that people don’t always know which Mrs. Captain will show up to the party, either, but I blame that on menopause. Such a handy catch-all for bad behavior!
Images used:
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