For Better or Worser

I am enjoying a day off today, which is good because Captain and I had a rather late night waxing philosophical on the deck last night.  Now that it is warming up finally, this will be our evening ritual until October.  

Anyhoo, Captain had read/seen/heard during the course of his day some divorce statistic, and as he’d had an extra beer or two last night while I was in Rochester shopping, he was extra philosophical.

The crux of his question was:  why do some couples (such as ourselves) stay married when others don’t.  

I can’t speak for other couples, but in our world, since neither one of us is dead yet, we will stay married.  That is an oversimplification, but that’s the nutshell.  We made vows, which are bigger than a promise, to stick it out through sickness, poverty, and the worst conditions that we would face.

Trust me when I say, our marriage has not been all unicorns and rainbows.  There have been times when we go consecutive days without speaking and harboring intense resentment toward each other.  But we stick.  That’s what you do after you say those vows.

One of the things we liked to joke about when the kids were still home was that if someone wanted to leave the marriage...they had to take the kids.  Now that they are gone, the line has changed to whoever wants to leave has to take the dogs.  So it’s still a good reason to stay.

Are we the same people we were when we made those vows?  Absolutely not.  Life experiences--some good, some horrid--have shaped us into new and different people.  Lucky for us, the new people still love and respect each other on most days.  

I’m not saying that there is never a good reason to dissolve a marriage; there are several extremely valid reasons to do so.  Quirks and personality choices--like not putting dirty clothes in the hamper or not making the bed--are not valid choices in Brogan world.  Infidelity or abuse would be about the only two reasons.

Personally, I think a good sense of humor is absolutely essential.  I can be as mad as hops at Captain, and he will make some oddball comment that makes me giggle...and things settle back to normal.

The one he says most often when I am in a snit of some sort is, “You said for better or worser...you just didn’t know it would be this worser, did you?”  It invariably makes me smile so that we can continue on for another day.

To anyone who is celebrating a wedding anniversary soon, Congratulations!  Here’s to many more happy years to you, even when it might be worser.  

Images used:
http://www-static.weddingbee.com/pics/215679/1335377214863_9831704.png
http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/ae87a421b644cd4b0203e6bffd02752203_510bea5aca861.png
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/d0/8a/04/d08a04ed61d582c5483147e8331fcb32.jpg