We had our appointment with the breast surgery team yesterday. They are the ones in charge of the mastectomy and lymph node biopsy portion of the operation (as opposed to the plastic surgery team who will be in charge of the reconstruction portion).
I had to state my case for bilateral mastectomy when only one breast is affected. The doctor had to do her job and tell me that there was no surgical or mortality benefit to doing so and could have potential increased surgical risks associated with it.
Read my lips: I DON’T CARE.
There is no way this side of the end of the world that I will ever put my family through another week like last week. Take them both off.
Okay.
After the breast surgeon and her resident left the room, the nurse stayed behind and went over some things about the surgery, the first being a potential surgical date.
Here’s the monkey wrench. Because I was using a nicotine patch previously, surgery will be delayed until early September so that I have time to use a different stop smoking aid that does not contain nicotine. The reason for this is that nicotine, in and of itself, can disrupt wound healing and increase infection risks, so they won’t even consider surgery until I am six weeks off of nicotine.
That gives us basically the month of August as a reprieve from the whole situation. Or at least that how it seems to me. So when the nurse looked me in the eye and asked me, “How are you doing?” I almost started crying.
I told her I was doing very well, thank you. And that makes me nervous and almost a little guilty because shouldn't I be falling apart and having much wailing and gnashing of teeth? (BTW...I swore from the get-go I wouldn’t do any of that.).
She said every patient is different and that I should expect some of the whiny-ass behavior to manifest at some point and that was okay.
The thing is, right now, all of the aspects of surgery, coping, and survivorship are theoretical for me. I haven’t had to put up or shut up yet. When surgery happens and I look down for the first time and see my feet instead of my boobs...well, y’all may hear my wailing and gnashing of teeth. I just don’t know.
But since we have this month of August, we took advantage of it over the weekend and went to see my Mom. Big Brother was there too, so we had a wonderful afternoon. We had lunch together on the patio of the marina supper club near Mom’s house.
From there, we toodled about a half hour east of Chippewa Falls to the town of Thorpe where there is a cheese shop called Marieke Gouda. Only it isn’t just a cheese shop, it is also a working 350-cow dairy. The dairy facilities had observation windows where the public could watch how 24 cows are milked at one time in a double-12 herringbone parlor. There was a play area with bikes, wagons, and pedal-type go-karts for the kids.
And the cheese shop...oh my! Gouda, Gouda, Gouda everywhere in so many flavors!! We loaded up on cheese, crackers, and some chocolate candy before heading back to Mom’s to have cheese and crackers on her deck. What a wonderful time, and being able to see me looking healthy and happy, I think, helped my Mom process the whole cancer thing a little easier.
Sort of in the same vein--making connections, offering assurances, getting support--took us to the Olmsted County fair last night. It was the open class Holstein dairy show, so we knew a slug of people on the grounds and in the barns. It was good to talk to good friends and neighbors. Plus I got a Rib Tickler pork sandwich out of the deal, so win-win for me!!
Between the appointments we had yesterday and our fair adventure, someone from the Pink Ribbon Mentor group called me. This is a group of volunteers who are all cancer survivors who now give their time and talents to help newly diagnosed breast cancer patients navigate their journey. They try to match the newbie with a mentor who has had a similar path.
My mentor, we’ll call her Dove because I think she will be a Godsend in the weeks ahead, called to find out how I was doing. I told her the same thing I’d told the nurse...doing fine, but wondering if that was normal. She said each person has a different normal and that she would help me along my path.
She also told me some things I hadn’t thought of, like what kind of clothing to wear after surgery since I will have limited range of motion in my arms as well as fairly significant pain. So there is a shopping safari in my future to find women’s extra large button up shirts and elastic-waist pants/pajamas.
I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, but the one thing I was sort of freaking out about was how I was going to wash my hair. Maybe that was an subconscious avoidance tactic so I wouldn't have to think about how to deal with everything else. Who knows, but we got the hair washing thing covered now that Dove gave me some advice on that front. So glad I was able to talk to her!
All in all, I’m in a good place right now. That may change at a moment’s notice without warning, but I am going to enjoy it while it lasts.
Please know that Captain and I appreciate all of the thoughts, prayers, and kind words you’ve sent our way. Don't forget that he is on this path with me! We are so blessed to have such an amazing circle of people.
Hugs,
Jude
Images used:
https://d28dwf34zswvrl.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Jung.jpg
https://www.permaculture.co.uk/sites/default/files/styles/slideshow/public/images/lonely-tree-xs-596x330.jpg?itok=qZiW7p_v
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/27/a6/93/27a693c920a6c2ef1beadf3902888c13--resiliency-quotes-resilient.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/51/5a/23/515a23c331447f77bb8d85c83ea68675--resilience-quotes-stay-cool.jpg
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ec/42/f9/ec42f90506dd95d2f1f6a67fffc5cc17--resilience-quotes-divorce.jpg
No comments:
Post a Comment