Weather Words

Image courtesy of Brainy Quote 

Is everybody warm enough?  That will be the question for the next few days.  Really, have you ever asked anyone that question and had them squeal, "Hell no, I need to be colder!"?  Probably not unless you know some real whackadoodles.

Weather is a big discussion topic at our house for obvious reasons.  Will there be enough rain?  Too much rain?  Is there hail coming?  Those are summertime questions.

Will the waterers stay thawed out?  Will the tractors all start?  Are my long johns clean and dry?  Those are wintertime questions.

Image courtesy of US National Weather Service,
Twin Cities/Chanhassen, MN, NOAA

When I worked downtown, I had an office mate who got the biggest kick out of my weather terms...which I learned from Captain.  Before Al Roker coined the phrase "polar vortex," we used phrases like Saskatchewan Screamer, Alberta Clipper, and (a personal favorite), Panhandle Hook system (sometimes also called a Texas Hooker) to describe weather events.

Are those familiar to you?  We all know, as stout Minnesotans, what an Alberta Clipper is.  The jet stream comes flying across Canada and brings a quick blast of extreme arctic air to our region.  A Saskatchewan Screamer is the same concept, it just originates in a different part of Canada.  Those are December and January things.

February and March are more apt to produce Panhandle Hookers.  That's when the jet stream comes across the Gulf of Mexico and up across the panhandles of Oklahoma and Texas and brings warm, moist air to the region...and most like a significant snow event.  Like the ones that happen during state boys basketball tournaments.  

Image Courtesy of KTTC TV

Going back to Al Roker, does it irritate anyone else when he talks about the millions of people who will be affected by a particular weather pattern?  I get that the snowfall in Boston last year was unprecedented and somewhat of epic proportions, but really, he doesn't need to tell the nation that the cold in the Great Lakes region will affect x-million people.  We've all lived here for years and it isn't a "weather event."  It's just winter.  Get used to it.  

Image courtesy of The Alaskan Life

I remember when I was in high school, junior year, I was in the Exchange Club and our school hosted an exchange club from Tulsa, Oklahoma.  In January.  That winter was particular snowy (1983-1984) and they were awed and amazed at the amount of snow we had.  We found the deepest snowdrift we could, and they all stood in it up to their thighs for pictures.  Whatever.

Later that spring, April I believe, they hosted us for a week.  The second or third day we were there, they got half an inch of snow.  It shut the county down.  I sheet you knot.  They closed schools, issued travel advisories, and businesses closed for the day.  I'm not kidding, even a little bit.

A group of us were gathered at my host family's house, and they were moaning and groaning about nothing to do and how much fun it would be to go to the mall about ten miles away.  I listened for about ten minutes and finally told them to give me the keys and I would drive.  

"You can't drive in this!  The roads are impossible."  (Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure that was WAY against the rules).

Image courtesy of Stuff About Minneapolis

Dude, do you remember the thigh-high drift from when you were in Minnesota?  We wear shorts and flip flops in this kind of weather...give me the keys.  

I've never driven four more petrified people in my life.  They were all sure we were going to spin out, crash, and die.  The nice thing was, all the other Oklahomans were burrowed into their homes and there was NOBODY on the road.  I'm surprised the mall was open when we got there, but it was, so we spent an enjoyable afternoon shopping.

Hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes...those are all worthy of national weather news coverage.  Snow and cold in Minnesota...that's just another day in our world!