Should I Or Shouldn't I?

Photo courtesy of Pleated Jeans.com

I think I finally figured out why I don't like shopping of any sort.  It involves thinking and analyzing, and that's not me.  Remember me?  I'm the one stuffed wit fluff and of very little brain!

I am impulsive and rash.  I buy instead of shop.  I go in knowing what I want and how much I’ll spend on it.  Give it to me and let me outta here.  This would be why I have come home countless times with crap that isn’t what I really need or want and clothes that don’t fit or look good (because I didn’t take the time to try them on). 

Conversely, oftentimes, Captain comes home with nothing because he either couldn’t make up his mind or he decided he just couldn’t justify the expense.

Photo courtesy of Grey bijoux

You’d think the happy middle here would be that we shop together and maybe balance each other out. 

I am here to testify it ain’t so.  Remember…more often than not we can’t leave a grocery store on speaking terms and often after threats of physical violence on my part.  I have never, and will never, take him clothes shopping with me.  First, I don’t shop for clothes often and if I do, I want an honest opinion from my shopping buddy.  Captain would give me the “It looks fine” line because he would absolutely believe it whether I looked like a movie star or a sack of potatoes. 

Captain is tormented by the women in his life who come home from shopping and proclaim, “I save x-amount of dollars on this outfit!”  And his answer is, “No, you spent x-amount of dollars on this outfit, and it’s too much.”      

The whole impulse thing doesn’t happen for me with just shopping, either.  Take vacations for instance. 

Captain happened to mention a while back that he’d like to go to Memphis.  So I researched the cost of driving versus flying; hotel rates; and tourist information, etc.  Within three days, I had a nice trip planned. 

When I told Captain that, he was all, like, “I didn’t mean NOW…just someday.” 

Buddy, where I come from, thoughts don’t come out of your mouth until you MEAN them.  Don’t get me all excited about a road trip and then be a dream crusher.  Uff da!  Looking back, he never specified “someday” in that thought.  If he had, I wouldn’t have gone into research mode so fast.  Apparently I was just supposed to know that because—you might not know this about me—I guess I am a mind reader. 

See…Captain thinks out loud while he tries to come to a decision.  It’s a struggle for him, and sometimes I can actually see the pain all that trying-to-make-a decision is causing him.  I don’t actively think about stuff.  It all stews around in my subconscious until such time as my subconscious puts the smarty pants on and comes up with an end game.  THEN I start speaking.

Another fine example was when Captain happened to mention if we ever remodeled the kitchen (see me rolling on the floor laughing???), he would very much like a center island. 

It wasn’t a week—maybe two—and I had a complete kitchen remodel drawing worked up complete with his center island (it was a good idea), enlarged triple-size pantry, new cupboards, and an upgraded stove and range hood.  I had hammered copper ceiling tiles.  I had new paint, new light fixtures, and new bar stools for that center island.  I’m guessing my plan was tens of thousands of more dollars than Captain’s idea.  Hey, if you’re going to dream dream big!!

Once again I got the “Boy, you get an idea and you run with it, don’t you?”

Well, duh!  If you weren’t ready to act on the thought, don’t speak the thought.  That’s how my world works. 

Obviously, both the road trip and the remodeling are on the back burner, but boy oh boy, once Captain finally says “go”…there will be no stopping me!