Fishing Widow

For the next few days I will be a fishing widow.  And that’s okay.  I have plans for my ME time.

One thing I hadn’t planned on was chasing steers.  We haven’t had a beast out in months, so of course, three of them chose this morning to take a stroll around the property when Captain was trying to get all the last minute preparation for his trip taken care of.  But we got them back in with a minimum of muss or fuss in plenty of time.

I know that some wives may--in some small part of their minds--resent when their husbands are gone on extended hobby-related trips.  Not me.  I love Captain with everything I’ve got...honest, I do.

However.

A few days without him around gives me the freedom to do as I choose.  

Things I am going to do while he is gone:

• Bake a meatloaf and eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until it’s gone.
• When it’s gone, I’ll eat cereal for supper and ice cream for breakfast.
• Make coffee stout enough to stand a spoon up in it.
• Eat take out Chinese.
• Wear my pajamas every minute that I’m not at work.
• Watch reruns of Bones until 3 a.m.
• Read a book from cover to cover without stopping for anything but bathroom breaks.
• Sleep with the fan on.
• Listen to iHeart Radio from dawn to dusk and beyond.

Things I won’t do:

• Make the bed.
• Organize the plates by color and pattern when I unload the dishwasher.
• Turn the damn news on.
• Read a paper.

See...life will be a little slice of heaven for me these next few days.

Will I miss him?  Absolutely!  He’ll call every day to say hi and make sure nothing catastrophic has happened.  Not that he would be able to do anything about a catastrophe if it did.  Besides his brother will be in and out doing chores and keeping an eye on things, so all will be well.

I guess I won’t be truly alone these few days.  Mama Bear, Cubby, Princess, and Milly (Captain-s mom) are coming over tonight for chicken alfredo and wine.  I have to work onsite one day so I’ll be out and about that day as well, on top of bowling.

But I will actually enjoy having my space all to myself for while.  I wouldn’t be able to do it longer than a few days, but a short space of time with no one to answer to is okay.

Part of that is because I know that he is enjoying himself immensely while he is away.  This is his fourth...maybe fifth...year going with Uncle Johnny to a resort on the Canadian border.  They fish, drink beer, tell outrageous lies and dirty jokes, eat fish, and generally have a good time being men.

This year, Captain is especially excited because Young Man is going along for the first time.  He is hoping for some good father-son bonding time during this trip.  It will either be that or they’ll come home not speaking.  It could go either way.  

I’m so glad he can take the time to do something that he enjoys so much but I don’t enjoy.  I’m glad Uncle Johnny started including him in this trip.  I’m glad that we are both comfortable being apart for a few days.

And, boy oh boy, I am glad the meatloaf I have in the oven is ALL MINE!

Celebrate!

So...birthdays.  In my world, where I make the rules, my birthday is an “un-day.”  That means anything I eat has no calories, anything I buy doesn’t impact my back account...and so on.  It’s pretty much a “I can do whatever the hell I want and damn the consequences” kind of day.

Today the first thing on my list was a doctor appointment that I was not looking forward to--there isn’t a woman who does--but I got out of that one due to restructured CDC screening guidelines.  Go me!!

Then it was on to deliver some paperwork downtown Rochester, which isn’t my stomping grounds anymore, so the traffic sort of threw me for a loop, but I survived.

I had enough time to zip back home to pic up my mother-in-law to keep me company on my travels to Amy’s salon via Cabin Coffee in Saint Charles where me met Captain’s cousin-in-law who is a Mary Kay consultant.  She helped me select new shades of eye shadow, considering that what I have is about five years old.  

I had a cup of coffee (a caramel mocha thing with a mound of whip cream on top that required a spoon to eat) that was amazing, and the soup/sandwich special was just as tasty.

We managed to cover conversation topics from college life and regrets thereof to stay-at-home parenting to antiques to sentimental holiday decorations.  We laughed our butts off a couple of times.

We were having so much fun talking to Angie that we sort of headed out of Saint Charles later than we meant to, so we asked Angie how to cut cross county from Saint Charles to Harmony.  She gave us good directions.

Problem?

I’m pretty sure we didn’t follow them correctly because we  ventured to Fountain via Lanesboro--which consisted of two stinking one-car-wide bridges with the metal canopy.  Captain’s mom was glad I kept my eyes open while crossing...something i don’t normally do on bridges.  Hate bridges.  

But I digress.

Anyway, we made it to Harmony only ten minutes late, which worked out well as Amy was just finishing up her client when we got there.  

The varied conversation topics continued while we were with Amy from what women go through to look and stay beautiful, dream jobs, mammograms, and so on.  

We even had the nicest conversation with another client who came in while my color was “cooking.”  I couldn’t place her accent, I just knew it wasn’t SE Minnesota.  Turns out she was a transplant from New Jersey who moved her after retiring to be close to her son...who eventually moved out-of-state, but she stayed because she had fallen in love with Harmony.  I say that is a fine testament to the community in Harmony...kudos!

Amy’s final touch was to apply the new makeup I bought from Angie so I was a styling granny when I walked out the door.  

The drive back from Amy’s shop was more familiar, as we stayed right on 52 all the way to the 75th Street exit.  No side trips on unknown two-lane back roads.  But, we did see some wonderful scenic vistas on our detour and had that much longer to chat.

Did I eat some stuff that had a ton of calories today?  You bet I did.  Do I regret it?  No one single tiny little bit.  Birthdays are a celebration of self...don’t let anyone tell you different.  

Whatever makes you happiest...I hope you do that on your birthday.  Better yet, I hope someone suggests that you indulge in that one thing for your birthday.  No judgment.  No censure.  No regrets.  

Happy birthday to you whenever that might be!

Weather Words

Image courtesy of Brainy Quote 

Is everybody warm enough?  That will be the question for the next few days.  Really, have you ever asked anyone that question and had them squeal, "Hell no, I need to be colder!"?  Probably not unless you know some real whackadoodles.

Weather is a big discussion topic at our house for obvious reasons.  Will there be enough rain?  Too much rain?  Is there hail coming?  Those are summertime questions.

Will the waterers stay thawed out?  Will the tractors all start?  Are my long johns clean and dry?  Those are wintertime questions.

Image courtesy of US National Weather Service,
Twin Cities/Chanhassen, MN, NOAA

When I worked downtown, I had an office mate who got the biggest kick out of my weather terms...which I learned from Captain.  Before Al Roker coined the phrase "polar vortex," we used phrases like Saskatchewan Screamer, Alberta Clipper, and (a personal favorite), Panhandle Hook system (sometimes also called a Texas Hooker) to describe weather events.

Are those familiar to you?  We all know, as stout Minnesotans, what an Alberta Clipper is.  The jet stream comes flying across Canada and brings a quick blast of extreme arctic air to our region.  A Saskatchewan Screamer is the same concept, it just originates in a different part of Canada.  Those are December and January things.

February and March are more apt to produce Panhandle Hookers.  That's when the jet stream comes across the Gulf of Mexico and up across the panhandles of Oklahoma and Texas and brings warm, moist air to the region...and most like a significant snow event.  Like the ones that happen during state boys basketball tournaments.  

Image Courtesy of KTTC TV

Going back to Al Roker, does it irritate anyone else when he talks about the millions of people who will be affected by a particular weather pattern?  I get that the snowfall in Boston last year was unprecedented and somewhat of epic proportions, but really, he doesn't need to tell the nation that the cold in the Great Lakes region will affect x-million people.  We've all lived here for years and it isn't a "weather event."  It's just winter.  Get used to it.  

Image courtesy of The Alaskan Life

I remember when I was in high school, junior year, I was in the Exchange Club and our school hosted an exchange club from Tulsa, Oklahoma.  In January.  That winter was particular snowy (1983-1984) and they were awed and amazed at the amount of snow we had.  We found the deepest snowdrift we could, and they all stood in it up to their thighs for pictures.  Whatever.

Later that spring, April I believe, they hosted us for a week.  The second or third day we were there, they got half an inch of snow.  It shut the county down.  I sheet you knot.  They closed schools, issued travel advisories, and businesses closed for the day.  I'm not kidding, even a little bit.

A group of us were gathered at my host family's house, and they were moaning and groaning about nothing to do and how much fun it would be to go to the mall about ten miles away.  I listened for about ten minutes and finally told them to give me the keys and I would drive.  

"You can't drive in this!  The roads are impossible."  (Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure that was WAY against the rules).

Image courtesy of Stuff About Minneapolis

Dude, do you remember the thigh-high drift from when you were in Minnesota?  We wear shorts and flip flops in this kind of weather...give me the keys.  

I've never driven four more petrified people in my life.  They were all sure we were going to spin out, crash, and die.  The nice thing was, all the other Oklahomans were burrowed into their homes and there was NOBODY on the road.  I'm surprised the mall was open when we got there, but it was, so we spent an enjoyable afternoon shopping.

Hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes...those are all worthy of national weather news coverage.  Snow and cold in Minnesota...that's just another day in our world!

Teachers are Special Souls

Teachers should be revered and respected, because it takes a special soul to educate others, whether children, young adults, or older adults such as myself.

Captain’s family has a multitude of teachers going back to his Granmma Brogan who was a county extension agent in the 1940s.  I say that is a high accomplishment for a woman of that era!

Her children and grandchildren carried on the proud tradition with two of her daughters, a son-in-law, and a granddaughter who are either retired or active teachers.  Go Brogans!

Not all teaching happens in a school classroom.  I have been a Sunday school teacher on two separate occasions for 7th graders.  I liked that age because they were young enough yet to fear authority (that would be me) and old enough to have questions.  You can’t learn if you don’t ask questions.

Not all teaching is done by “teachers,” either.  Captain’s cousin is the wrestling coach for the John Marshall Rockets, and I know darn good and well that he passes on wisdom and knowledge to each athlete that he works with, just like his dad, Captain’s uncle, did for the Austin Pacelli track team for many years.

I coached the Pine Island FFA Parli Pro (parliamentary procedure) team for four years.  In that time, I would like to think that above and beyond the rudiments of Robert’s Rules of Order, I taught the kids other things, important things, like team work, dedication, respect, and perseverance.  I also had to help them learn how to handle the disappointment of losing as well as how to win graciously.  

Teaching is also often part of the work place, as employees transition to new or different roles.  Effective training goes a long way to easing that “why did I think this was a good idea” feeling that often comes with a job transition.

Sometimes those who teach or train aren’t effective in that they either just give a quick explanation and then expect the trainee to magically know how to do everything the trainer did, or they do everything while the trainee only watches but never actually lets the trainee do the tasks.

Personally, I lucked out beyond belief.  The young lady who trained me--I’ll call her Trixie--was the perfect example of effective teaching.  She had an outline of what tasks or duties needed to be discussed, and she allowed plenty of time to do so.  

She didn’t just show me how or what to do, she walked me through the steps once or twice, and then she simply watched silently as I continued.  If I caught myself in a mistake or error, she was right there with a “great job” or other compliment.  

Even when I had countless questions or forgot something we had gone over, she always graciously answered or reiterated what I needed to know--no matter how many times I asked the same question.  Even today, which was my first day “solo” and her very busy first day of training for her new job, she was available when I had questions...silly questions, even.  

I’m glad that Trixie was my teacher for this job.  It was clear from watching the interaction between her and those she supported how much her team counted on her to be accurate, prompt, and resourceful.  I only hope that I can live up to her standards and that someday when I have to train someone in to take over my job, I can be as effective and courteous as she has been to me.

Choose your battles

Current debate and theory says that mothers are the nurturing part of the parenting duo.  I want to take a minute to point out that this does not mean that moms are pushovers or doormats.

When I was growing up, Dad could lay down rules all he wanted and while we would generally listen, it was Mom who had the power.  As a mother in my own right, I can see this is still true, and not just in my family.  I have had countless friends say that their dads did a lot of barking, but it was their moms who struck fear and respect when they spoke.  

I have wondered why this is so universally true, and I can’t say that I have come up with a concrete answer in general, but at my house, it is because I choose my battles.  Well, that and the fact that my voice can carry at 85 decibels for half a mile.

When Young Man was preschool age, he got it in his head that he wanted to sleep in the bathtub one night.  My reaction was:  Fine, here’s a pillow and a blanket; see you in the morning.  Captain, on the other hand, acted like this would bring the world to a screeching halt.  Captain is a great stickler for following rules.  In his mind, they don’t bend; they just get broken.  This is true in some situations, but not all.  Some things are not negotiable, i.e. stealing, lying, and cheating.  However, a lot of things are negotiable, like sleeping in the bathtub.  

The problem with making an issue out of small things is that everything becomes a battle so that when a major issue crops up, the kids just tune their dad out because he turns everything into a power play.  

I am no great shakes as a parent and have made more mistakes than a lot of parents.  It isn’t even that I am a patient person.  I simply do not have the time or energy to fight about non-issues.  Maybe that’s why when I do take a stand, my kids pay attention.  

When Young Man was a teenager, with all the joys and trials that brings, school-related behavior was a chosen battle because, hey, you need an education to survive in adulthood.  His sophomore year in high school was horrible.  He decided shop class was much more fun than health class was, and he got busted for skipping.  Now….what to do about it?  

Oh, those parenting mistakes I mentioned?  Public embarrassment is my forte, and I have it down to a science.  In this instance, unbeknownst to Young Man, I took a day off from work and went to school.  I arrived ahead of him so I could speak with the principal about the problem and what my solution was.  I received a copy of Young Man’s schedule and proceeded to his first-hour class.  There was an empty desk for me, so I was seated when he walked into class.  Oh, the double take and look of pure bafflement was priceless!  It was nothing compared to the progressive frustration I saw on his face when he saw me in his next four class periods.  

By that time, his friends were getting a large charge out of it, so I figured I’d made my point.  I asked if he’d had enough, and he had.  I asked if he wanted to go through it again, and he didn’t.  So the final threat was that if he got busted for skipping again, not only would I be right back in his classes with him…I would bring his Gramma.  I am pleased to say that his attendance record during his junior year was nearly perfect.  

Captain and I are not the kind of parents who side with the kid against the teacher.  In this house, if you are in trouble at school you are in double trouble at home, and we might actually be the ones to rat the kid out to the school.  

For instance, shortly after we joined the cellular world, I got a text message from Princess asking if she could go to a friend’s house after school.  No, you can’t.  Another text, same answer.  Repeat three more times.  It finally dawned on me that she was texting in class.  Hmmmm...what to do?

I picked up the phone and called the school and asked for that teacher’s room.  They connected me to the teacher and I told him who I was.  

“Why, yes, Mrs. Brogan, how are you?”  

“Dandy, thanks.  Hey, Mr. Teacher, Princess is texting in your class.  Go take her phone away, please.”

Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle.  “Okay, can do!”

Lesson to be learned here:  Don’t mess with Mama.    

As I look back at the years of parenting, I realize that Captain and I faced each episode with a different approach so that when one of us made a mistake, the other one was there to pick up the ball.  The upside?  Our kids turned into really awesome adults!  

Feeling My Age

I have always felt young for my age...or at least never really felt as old as I was.  You’re only as old as you think you are, right?

Yeah.

So today at work one of the things I got trained on was how to use this fancy-schmancy copier that sorts and staples or three-hole punches all in one fell swoop.  What a time saver!  As we were waiting for copies to print, I mentioned to my trainer (who is the same age as my daughter, by the way) that I could remember making copies with a mimeograph machine.

She says, “What’s a mimeograph?”

Oh you young whippernsapper, you!  So I had to explain the contraption that had an ink barrel and the copies were created by the operator turning a crank.  You got copies and exercise at the same time back then!

I felt pretty old after that whole conversation.  

My afternoon was spent with health professionals.  I have been dealing with a little--okay, a lot--of back pain this week.  My back hurts every day, but this was agony.  I must have done something at the waterpartk.

So the first stop was actually two days ago when I went to the medical doctor who gave me prescription-strength Advil and a muscle relaxant.  Of course I got the whole heat-and-ice speech too.  She also scheduled me for physical therapy because my core muscles are not as strong as they should be.  Probably because I’m carrying some extra weight around with me everywhere.  Whatever.

So I see the physical therapist today and got some stretching exercises that won’t kill me like the planks the doctor had mentioned would.  Just knees-to-chest for 5 or 10 seconds at a time several times a day.  Lucky for me I work from home or I’d be laid out in the break room doing this with people laughing at me!

After that--and scheduling two follow up appointments--it was off to the chiropractor.  It’s been more than 15 years since I’ve been to a chiropractor, and oh my, have things changed in that time!

I walked in expecting the poke-and-prod “does this hurt” routine.  Nope, now it’s digital computer scans with color readouts that pinpoint exactly where the problem is and if it is muscle, nerve, or bone.  Pretty techy!

And the “adjustments” are no longer the twist-and-crack thing I remember from the way back days.  Now they have this thumper thing that, well, it thumps the joint back into place with a minimum of muss or fuss.  I was sort of skeptical when he showed me this thumper thing because it’s no bigger than a hand mixer, but boy oh boy, do I feel a lot better!

I drove home and for the first time in many, many years, I didn’t moan and groan after getting out of the truck.  Usually it takes me a second or two to get straightened up and moving.  Nope, hopped right out and stood up straight.  

Amazing!

There are also follow up appointments for the chiropractor.  But the physical therapist and the chiropractor both told me that maintenance (i.e., prevention) is the golden ticket here.  Stay ahead of the problem...don’t chase it.  

So apparently I actually am as old as my drivers license says I am, even when I sometimes feel quite a bit younger than that.  

Thank you, God, for giving us competent and helpful health professionals to keep us in good shape!

Brehmer Christmas 2015

We finally wound up our Christmas celebrations over the weekend with the Brehmers--that would be my family.  We may not get as loud and obnoxious as the Brogan clan does, but we hold our own in the crazy department.

A few years ago, my mom decided that holiday dinners were more than she wanted to deal with, and really, who can blame her?  It’s a lot of work!  So we have been experimenting with alternative celebration methods over the past few years.  

On the years that my family gets the “off” day for celebrations, we have gone out to eat and then done an activity like bowling, one year we got family pictures taken and then went out to eat, and one year we went out to eat and then gathered back at mom’s for snacks and games.  Do you see the theme here?

On the years that my family gets the actual holiday, we a lot of times just have potluck at mom’s with games and goodies, which is always a solid celebration plan.

This year, we decided to do it up big and go to the Water Park of America in Bloomington and stay overnight at the attached Radisson Hotel.  Because check in wasn’t until 4 p.m., we decided to meet at Mall of America to kill some time.  We fueled up with lunch at Bubba Gump’s and then sort of fractured off into small shopping parties.  Captain and I veered off by ourselves to just wander and people watch.  We did check out a few of the stores, but really not many.  

Close to the time we were to head back to meet the rest of the crew, we ran across Young Man, Mama Bear, Cubby, and Princess, so we wandered back to the designated meeting area with them.  Cubby had had ENOUGH by this point, so we decided to head to the hotel.  

Being a farm girl and using directions like “turn right at the Old Blatty place…,” I find it hard to travel in the cities.  We walked out of the Mall toward our car and I could see the hotel from where I was.  Do you suppose I could figure out how to get there?  Not a chance.  After a couple of wrong turns and much colorful language, I fired up the GPS on my phone and followed the snotty little lady in the  plastic box.  I hate it that she is always right!

So we all got checked in and up to our rooms.  The hotel staff was nice enough to put the three rooms in a cluster together so we wouldn’t have to run up and down the hall to visit each other.  

We did our gift exchange first, did some chatting/catching up, and then it was off to the water park.  Cubby had the absolute cutest little swim dress on, and she knew she was gorgeous!

I was absolutely flabbergasted at the sheer number of people in this water park!  I’ve never been to an actual water park before, so I had no idea what the protocol or etiquette was, but apparently is was “grab a tube and plop your butt into it.”  That was for the Lazy River ride.  

I don’t think anyone else but me got the “lazy” part of the memo...I got lapped by kids with their feet through the hole and their arms over the top of the tube running through the water.  How is that “lazy,” I ask you?!  I meandered my way along the entire course, ending up under every water fall, and bonking my head on the rock wall a couple of times.  

When I had made a complete lap, I looked up to see Captain who had apparently not gotten a tube yet, so I told him to meet me at the next ladder/handrail spot a few yards down.  I got that far, grabbed his hand to stop...and then had no idea how to get out of the tube.  

I floundered around trying to be graceful about it and finally said “what the hell” and just capsized the tube and face planted in the water.  I was kind of glad to get out of that spot, actually!

I wandered back to where Mama Bear, Princess, and Cubby were playing in the kiddie pool area.  Cubby’s idea of playing was sitting on her butt in the water and slapping the water with her hands.  Hey, whatever floats your boat, kid!

I opted out of the water games at that point, and I went with my mom to find towels and do some more people watching.  Mama Bear and Princess wanted to do a water slide on a two-person tube, so I took over Cubby-watching for a bit and then decided to head back up to the room with Mom and Cubby since they were both pretty wiped out.  

Young Man was already in the room. I felt really bad for him not being able to partake in the water fun with his cast, but he was an extremely good sport about it all.  While we waited for the rest of the crew to trickle back from the water part, Young Man gave Cubby a bath and got her in her PJs...also adorable, by the way.  

After everyone had gotten back up to the rooms, we ordered pizza, ate snacks, and gabbed and gabbed and gabbed.  Cubby was the first one to fall asleep, but the rest of us weren’t far behind her!  

I never sleep well in hotel rooms, so when I heard Captain stirring around at 5:30, I decided to quit fighting it and got up.  Young Man was also awake so we visited amongst ourselves while the girls slept.  Captain and Young Man made a coffee/snack run down to the hotel restaurant so Cubby could have her daily banana.  Pretty soon we heard the water pumps fire up in the water park (we had a balcony overlooking the water park, so we could see what was going on down there), and then we saw the lights start coming on so it was “let’s get our suits on and get back down there.”

Captain and the girls were going to do this multi-person tube water slide ride from...like...ten stories up in the air.  Mama Bear asked me “Are you sure you’re okay watching Cubby while I do that?”  Totally okay, I am NOT going ten stories up to ride a tube!  Darn fear of heights, anyway!

So I staked out a chair with my mom at the exit point of that ride and we waited for them to come flying out.  When they did, it looked so fun to me that I handed Cubby to Captain and went with my girls, my niece, and my sister-in-law.  The heights thing wasn’t as bad as I’d expected, so that was good.  

When it was our turn to load into the tube, we were pretty well crammed in there and before I could find something to grab onto...off we went.  Luckily I found the strap to hang on to because it was a WILD ride!  At one point after a particularly sharp curve, I caught air.  And then we were at the bottom and up the steps out of the water...where I got hit with a vertigo attack.  That was literally the worst part of the ride and enough to convince me I was done with that business.  

Me, Mom, and Cubby watched people coming down that particular ride for awhile until we realized that our crew was on the tube ride on the other side of the park, so we meandered over that way and watched a few rounds of them doing that ride.  

Captain asked me if I would please go down one of the smaller/shorter water slides on a two-person tube with him.  Okay, I’ll give that a whirl and I must say that was much better than the big one.  Captain even got the giggles about ⅓ of the way into it and laughed the whole way down.

By now it was late enough in the day that it was going to be nip and tuck to get packed up and checked out on time, but we made it...with 1-½ minutes to spare.  We had decided on Perkins to fuel up for the rest of the day.  After the meal, Young Man and Mama Bear decided that Cubby needed to be back in her own bed for a nap, they headed home with Princess.  

The rest of us reconvened at Ikea.  I have never been there before and I must say it is...overwhelming is the word that comes to mind!  Baby Brother needed a few things but the rest of us were just browsing as we went through the store.  

By the time we all parted ways at the Ikea exit, I think everyone was worn out...but in a good “we had a blast” kind of way.  We had enough fun during the weekend that plans were begun to do it again next year!

We were able to spread our Christmas celebrations out over three separate weekends this year instead of cramming everything into three days, and I kind of liked it that way!

As we close out the old and ring in the new, I pray that you have love, faith, and blessings in your life for the coming year!