I am not a crier by nature (the recent bout of depression not withstanding). I
did not cry when I went back to work after each of my maternity leaves. I did
not cry when my kids started kindergarten. I did not cry when I hauled each of
them off to college. Okay, I did shed a tear or two at their commencement
ceremonies but no wailing and gnashing of teeth.
However.
The first time my mom didn’t recognize me just about put me on my knees in
despair. Even though I knew it was coming as there is a strong family history of
dementia in Mom’s family. Even though she has called my by her sister’s name
forever. When she literally thought I was her sister and should remember an
incident from their childhood, it shocked me.
dementia in Mom’s family. Even though she has called my by her sister’s name
forever. When she literally thought I was her sister and should remember an
incident from their childhood, it shocked me.
When she started to wander away from her house looking for people who can
only be found in heaven, we knew it was becoming a safety issue and made the
decision to move her to a memory care facility.
We found a wonderful place close to Baby Brother’s neighborhood. The staff is
friendly and welcoming and inclusive. The whole building is bright, cheerful, and
full of natural light. The rooms are cozy, clean, and private. Best of all, there
are people there who can give Mom the kind of care she needs.
So now we have all of these memories that no one else knows and only we
full of natural light. The rooms are cozy, clean, and private. Best of all, there
are people there who can give Mom the kind of care she needs.
So now we have all of these memories that no one else knows and only we
remember.
Some of my personal favorites are:
When Mom and I were trying to capture a loose calf and return it to its pen, but
Some of my personal favorites are:
When Mom and I were trying to capture a loose calf and return it to its pen, but
when Mom got the halter on it, it jumped and ran and dragged Mom through
some yucky stuff.
When Mom made her award-winning outhouse Halloween costume out of chicken
some yucky stuff.
When Mom made her award-winning outhouse Halloween costume out of chicken
wire and paper mache (see photo above).
When Mom and I went to my orthodontic consultation and they gave her the price
of my braces. She turned to me and asked if I was worth $2000. I told her I was priceless.
When I asked her what was the difference between liking someone and loving
someone, she told me, “You like someone because. You love someone although.”
LOVE that piece of advice!
When I asked her what to look for in a husband, she said to marry someone who
could make me laugh but who I was comfortable being silent with.
I've adjusted to her thinking that I am her sister now so when she asks me if I remember something from their childhood, I simply say “No, I must have been too young to remember that.” It isn’t the whole truth but isn’t really a lie either. So even though I am not a crier by nature, this new normal with Mom does bring a tear to my eye more often than not.
Your loved ones will someday be the keeper of the memories of your times
together. Take care to make them good memories. That’s what I call memory
care.
together. Take care to make them good memories. That’s what I call memory
care.
Images used:
http://www.quotesforthemind.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/Memory-of-the-Past-Memories-Quotes-%E2%80%93Good-%E2%80%93-Bad-Sayings-%E2%80%93-Quote-Life-brings-tears-smiles-and-memories.-The-teas-dry-the-smiles-fade-but-the-memories-last-forever.jpg
http://img.picturequotes.com/2/544/543144/memories-quote-1.jpg
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