Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Fixer Upper-itis


We have a modular home, meaning it was built somewhere else and then hauled here in two halves on big semi trucks and put together.  Our wood basement was custom built (thank you, Scott Berg Construction), but customizing the main floor wasn’t an option, which was fine when we ordered it because...hey...our house had burned to the ground at Christmastime, and we wanted something fast so we could get back home.  From the time we ordered the house in January to the time it was delivered was just over 8 weeks.  Add on time to put it together and finish the drywalling, etc., inside, and we were back home by Easter.  

We have updated some things since we moved in.  Captain completely repainted the entire main floor the winter before Young Man graduated, and we replaced the living room carpet with laminate hardwood.  Other than that, we haven’t done much to it.  Who needs to in a new house, right?


Still, every so often, I get the craze to remodel our kitchen.  Don’t get me wrong, I like the spaciousness of my kitchen now, but sometimes I get irritated by the little things.  Like the stupid lazy susans in the corner cabinets that are complete wastes of space in my mind.  

So then I log on to my Houzz account (www.houzz.com) and end up in information overload with fried brain circuits.  Everything you ever wanted to know, see, or find out about home design including yards, pools, and garages can be found at Houzz.  

The problem with Houzz is that it is the creme de la creme of renovation and out of orbit as far as my budget goes.  But the pictures are so pretty, I can’t stop looking!  There are granite counter tops, hardwood floors, oak or cherry custom cabinets, and stainless steel appliances.  All top of the line and more than what I need or want.  


It’s like watching House Hunters or any of the renovation shows on HGTV.  All of these people have a “must have” list that would break the bank of a small third world country so they can have all those bells and whistles that, yes, are very nice, but aren’t really “needs.”  They are wants, my friends.  

What ticks me off is they say they “must” have, for example, a master en suite which will require major demo and renovation...and then they bitch because their budget is blown.  HELLO?!?!  Maybe opt for vinyl flooring instead of Italian marble, people!!

I always said I would like to see a House Hunters couple who says, “We want a 20 x 30 one-bedroom shack in the woods with vinyl flooring, laminate counter tops, and prefab cabinets.  Electricity optional.”  Who’s with me?!  Apparently someone is because there was a spin off House Hunters for Tiny Houses...some with indoor plumbing optional!  


My parents remodeled their kitchen when I was between fifth and sixth grade.  I don’t remember it being a project of epic proportion where the homeowners (or the contractor) end up on antidepressants.  The only glitch I really remember is that after they framed in the new addition, my dad got a bee in his bonnet and wanted the front door and the front picture window flip-flopped.  I remember a lot of heated discussions about that, but Dad ended up with what he wanted.

So anyway, I spent a portion of the last weekend watching Fixer Upper episodes on Netflix.  It brought on the kitchen remodel urge again.  I whiffle waffled in my head about how to do things.  I think I finally have a workable plan in my head that I could probably get put on paper if I put my mind to it.  There are a few tweaks I am not going to be able to decide on without consulting an expert, though.  Such as, would it work to move my stove into the corner where I now have those awful lazy susan shelves?  It might be too close to the sink, and that would kabosh that plan because the sink can’t be moved.  And hey...while we are at it, can we take the window out of the dining room, put french doors or sliding doors in and have a deck off the east side of the dining room.  Our west deck gets so darn hot in the afternoons it’s unbearable to sit out there.


This brings about a recurrent argument between me and Captain about how to address THAT issue.  I vote covered porch, and he says pergola.  I’ve never seen the utility of a pergola because (a) they are expensive and (b) the hot sun and wet rain still get through so what’s the damn point??


The other problem I run into is, well hell, I’m already tearing the house apart, so while we’re at it we might as well update the furnace that has been trying to die for three years now AND finally--FINALLY--install central air.  The problem??  That will add close to five digits onto my bottom line of an already-five-digit number.  That’s edging toward Scary Loan Land.

If I really put my mind to it, and put my love of travel on hold for a year or two, I could probably save the money to pay for one or the other, but not both.  Besides, I’m not quite willing--yet--to give up my little mini vacations here and there for two or three days at a time.  

Someday I will remodel my kitchen, and I will probably change my mind about something halfway through the process and end up being “one of those people.”  But until then, I will continue to overload my poor little brain with images and ideas from Houzz as well as Fixer Upper, HGTV, and Rehab Addict.  


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