Inspiration Across The Years

The following is not mine.  It is from Vicky Fick of Lake City, Minnesota, published in the Plainview News circa 1980s, and I am so excited to share it with all of you.  

This right here has been my biggest inspiration to be a writer.  I remember when this article came out, and my family sat at the table while my mom read it out loud--it's even funnier out loud--with many dramatic pauses and artistic flair.  We busted our guts laughing because it could have been us who said these things and had these things happen.  

My dad would quip about nice brown cows when we had a animal that was misbehaving.  We also had self feeders, and he would say "need to push feed down self feeder" all the time.  For weeks, months, even years after the article came out, it was still a part of our family's lexicon.  

Over the years, when I would write something and end up doubting myself, this article would come back to me and remind me that there is an audience for agriculture humorous essays.  This article was what kept me from chucking everything I wrote into a trash can.  

You might know that I recently pleaded with my Facebook peeps to help me connect with Vicky because I couldn't remember her last name.  When I was given her name, I contacted her to let her know how much this article has meant to me for more than half of my life.  And to ask for a copy of it, which she kindly sent to me last week.  

As I read it out loud to Captain (yes, with dramatic pauses and artistic flair, just like my mama) we both were laughing until we cried, and more than a handful of times we both said, "That could be us!"  The silo unloader thing...I can totally relate!!  

Friends, I hope you enjoy this as much as I have and do.  It's a keeper!!

Hugs,
Jude


Monday
Milked cows.  Fed the pigs.  Pushed feed down the self-feeder.  Dead steer in feed lot.  Looks like bloat.  Must be something it ate.  Called vet.  Took trailer load of steers to Zumbrota Sales Barn.  Steers down a dollar.  Bought nice brown cow for $400.  Put nice brown cow in with other cows.  Vet here.  Wants to talk to me.  Vet said steer bloated, must’ve been something it ate.  Paid vet $16.

Pushed feed down self-feeder.  Called banker and asked about a $50,000 loan.  Banker laughed.  I didn’t.  Put nice brown cow back in pasture with other cows.  Fixed fence.  Weaned pigs from two sows.  Wired up gate between them.  Ground four batches of feed.  Poked each batch out of mixer.  Sows in with little pigs; knocked gate down.  Nailed 2x6 across pen.  Got nice brown cow in.  Fixed fence.  Starting to snow.  Milked cows.  Pushed feed down self-feeder.  Sows ate through 2x6.  Locked them out of hog house. 

Tuesday
Must have snowed all night.  Milked cows.  Cow not eating and not acting right.  Must be ketosis.  Called vet.  Pushed feed down self-feeder.  Shoveled snow out of bunks.  Sows broke into hog house.  Put baby pigs n chicken coop.  Scooped snow out of driveway.  Broke hose on loader tractor.  Changed clothes.  Used snowmobile to get nice brown cow in.  Untangled electric fence wire from track.  Fixed fence.  Pushed feed down self-feeder.  Vet here.  Says cow not eating or acting right.  Must be ketosis.  Watch her, if it gets worse call him.  Paid vet $16.

Neighbor called; nice brown cow in his pasture.  Sold nice brown cow to neighbor for $350.  We both fixed fence.  Teenage daughter’s car won’t start.  Froze up from running in ditch other night.  Put knipco heater on it.  Fed pigs.  Started cleaning barn.  Daughter running and screaming.  Car on fire, smoke coming from under hood.  Daughter called fire department.  I run to house.  Garden hose froze up.  Grab fire extinguisher.  Hood won’t open.  Run for wrecking bar.  Wrecking bar won’t open hood.  Run to shed for tractor…run back to shed for log chain.  Pulled car away from house as fire department arrived.

Back to cleaning barn.  Manure spreader froze up.  Put knipco heater on spreader.  Pushed feed down self-feeder.  Checked on pigs.  Rendering truck here for dead steer.  Tire blown out on froze up manure spreader – got too hot.  Called Apple’s Tire service (in Millville) for new tire.  Prompt service.  Finished barn chores.  Pushed feed down self-feeder. 

Wednesday
Ground hog didn’t see his shadow today.  How could he – we never have sunshine anymore.  Milked as usual.  Pushed feed down self-feeder.  Nice brown cow in my pasture.  Called neighbor.  Nobody home.  Put brown cow in – fixed fence.  Baby pigs have scours.  Guess feed is too rich.  Called vet.  Sow farrowed 14 pigs!  Hook up heat lamp with extension cord.  Hog prices up $1.50.  Banker called to say my note was due.  I laughed, he didn’t.  Pushed feed down self-feeder.  Broke spring on the loader as I finished scooping last of the snow.  Called Greenline. 

Talked kids into finishing chores tonight.  Going to treat the wife to supper at Clayt’s Supper Club in Plainview.  Vet came, says pigs have scours.  Feed must be too rich.  Paid vet $16.  Called neighbor.  Nice brown cow in my pasture.  Pushed feed down the self-feeder.  Time to get ready to go out.  Greenline here to pick up loader tractor.  Neighbor here to get nice brown cow.  Milkman is late; he slid off the edge of driveway while leaving.  Helped one kid out of self-feeder and then helped the other one milk a kicky heifer.  Boy am I late!  Wife mad.  Canned soup for supper.

Thursday
Didn’t sleep good last night.  Cats fighting under bedroom window all night.  Holy cow!  Cats must have been fighting in barn last night—three cows with stepped-on teats.  Finally finished milking.  Pushed feed down self-feeder.  Shipped load of pigs to Zumbrota Sales Barn.  Hogs down $4 today.  Sow loose in hog barn.  Chewed through extension cord.  Ripped pants on hog house door.  Sheared the wife’s 12 ewe’s this morning.  Paid shearer $24, got $21.50 for wool.  Went to Wabasha and signed up 50% in the PIK program.  Paid income tax.  Hope I live to Social Security.  Bought new extension cord and hip boots for wife.  Socialized with neighbors.  Late getting home.  Wife started chores.  Wife pushed feed down self-feeder.  Wife put nice brown cow back in neighbor’s pasture.  Couldn’t get fence working.  Wife also got silo unloader stuck.  I climbed the silo.  Dig, dig, dig.  Tell wife to put unloader on.  Yell at wife four times to turn silo unloader off.  Unplug silo unloader up top.  Wife says she can’t hear me with 60 head of hungry youngstock bellering in one ear and silo unloader running in the other. 

Late getting milking done.  Still have to fix the fence.  Took pickup, flashlight, and wife out to fix fence.  Chased brown cow over to neighbor’s side.  Wife plugged in fence before fence is fixed.  Quiet ride back to house.  Wife looking in the book.  Says there must be some words in there I forgot to call her today.  Watched 10 o’clock news.  IRS is trying to figure out how to tax farmers twice in the PIK program. 

Friday
Greenline brought loader tractor back this morning.  Total bill is 282.65--$280 for labor and $2.65 for parts, including tax.  Cows with stepped-on teats all have mastitis.  Called vet.  Bought nice brown cow from neighbor for $375.  Maybe she’ll stay in my pasture now.  She’s looking a little peaked.  Pushed feed out.  Got my annual letter from Wabasha County Treasurer.  Land values went down.  My taxes went up!  Think I’ll pay half of what they’re worth—just like I get for my products. 

Extension Agent stopped today.  Says I should plant black walnut trees on the “80” instead of corn.  Says in 40 years they’ll be worth a fortune.  I tell him how to find his way off the place.  Banker called, said my note was past due.  Nobody laughed.  Sent check.  Vet here.  Pushed feed down self-feeder.  Vet says three cows have mastitis.  Paid vet $16.  Says he’ll send bill for the mastitis tubes.  And don’t forget to dump the milk away!

Family wants to go to the basketball game.  Everybody helps to do chores.  Help kid out of self-feeder.  Chores done.  I’m the last in the shower.  Hot water all gone again!

Saturday
Nice brown cow had twin calves in pasture last night.  Carried them to the barn.  Twin calves looking peaked.  Called vet.  Pushed feed down self-feeder.  Pickup won’t start.  Need a pull.  Banker called, said he might give me the loan if the cattle prices would go up.  I laughed; he did too.  Loader tractor broke down again.  Can’t get a decent station on the radio. 

While putting cows back in the barn this morning, heifer slipped on sloppy cement.  Totally splashed wife.  I only see blinking white eyeballs.  I stifle it.  Offer my red hanky to wife.  Bedded pole barns.  Bedding supply mighty low.  Vet here.  Says peaked looking cow usually has peaked looking twin calves.  Paid vet $30--$10 each.

Wife stuck in mud closing gate.  Throw her a rope.  Use tractor and loader to get wife out.  Hose barefoot wife off outside milkhouse.  Said I could have used warm water.  Wife mad.  Guess I won’t get pickup started today.  Retrieve hip boots next July.

OPEC countries having a gas war.  Yippee!  Gas prices dropping.  Governor going to put more tax on gas.  No yippee!  Prices go up because we use too much.  Then prices go up because we conserve.  Now more taxes.  What next?  Block is putting 50 cents tax on milk, that’s what’s next!  Fix that—I’ll go to Zumbrota Tuesday and buy more milk cows. 

Sunday
Late for church again.  Sermon same as a month ago.  Fell asleep.  Wife elbowed me.  Banged my head on the support post.  People turned and looked at me.  Wife mad.  Had popcorn for dinner.  Sent little kids with big kids to a movie this afternoon.  House very quiet.  Whoopee!  Chores as usual the rest of the day.  Hit the sack early for another busy week.  Night honey, I love you.

Now I lay me down to sleep

Please watch o’er my cattle, pigs, and sheep

Lord I hate to be one to complain

So I’ll gladly take all this rain

‘Stead of something a whole lot worse

Like crops and cattle dying of thirst

And with my family I hope you stay

Guide each one so he does not stray

When from this farming I depart

Ever thankful, How Great Thou Art

Amen

Grampa, Tell Me 'Bout The Good Old Days

I borrowed that title from a Judds single from...well...a lot of years ago.  Since I’m climbing my family tree and dragging y’all with me--cuz that’s how I roll--I was thinking about each of my grandparents last night.

It was hard to find a picture of Grampa Prokasky, but this
one seemed nice of mom's family

My Grampa Emil Prokasky died long before I arrived so I don’t have any memories of him at all, but I do feel a connection to him.  After he died, my Gramma Prokasky kept Grampa’s old tobacco pipe in a bureau drawer in the living room.  When I would stay overnight with Gramma, she would let me fill up a dishpan with water and Joy dishwashing soap and take Grampas’ old pipe and blow bubbles out on the back steps.  There is a very unique smell from Joy mixing with old pipe tobacco, and that’s the memory/connection that I will carry forever.

Gramma Prokasky is on the right, Gramma Brehmer is
on the left

My Gramma Clara Prokasky was the grandparent I remember most because she lived the longest, and our family spent more time with the Prokasky side than the Brehmer side.  What I remember most about Gramma is that she like to drive fast and if you showed up at lunchtime at her house, you were going to be served a Cheez Whiz sandwich, a Hostess snowball cake, and instant Sanka coffee.  If it was a holiday, the beverage choice was Pfeiffer’s beer or Mogan David wine.  When I would stay there for several days, I remember we played a lot of Rook and watched Lawrence Welk.  I don’t even know if Rook (similar to 500) is still available or not, but apparently we bent the rules because there should be four players, and we only ever had the two of us.

Not sure which grandkid this is, but that's Grampa Brehmer, and
that sure looks like a glass of alcohol!!

My Grampa Albert Brehmer always carried peppermint candy (the big pink chalky-type things).  In his later years when he lived with us off and on, I remember walking around my mom’s massive vegetable garden with Grampa, and he would sneak me three or four peppermints when Mom and Dad weren’t looking.  I remember using his walker (after he passed away) to learn how to ride a unicycle.

I guess when she took the apron off, she embraced her wild side!

My Gramma Clara Brehmer died when I was only 7 years old, so I don’t have solid memories of her, just vague impressions.  Mostly I remember that she always wore a full-length apron; the kind looked like bib overalls in the front and then had the apron skirt that went all the way around and tied n the back.  Or buttoned, actually, now that I think harder about it.

Grampa and Gramma Prokasky lived on a small acreage between Rochester and Oronoco in the TINY house!  You came in the front door and could take a right down the stairs to the basement or a left up 2-3 stairs to the kitchen.  In the basement, I remember she had an old cast iron 2-burner wood cook stove.  Hmmm, I wonder what happened to that.  Anyway.  The kitchen was small with just a table, fridge, and a row of cabinets and countertop that made a little “L.”  There was a pocket door between the kitchen and the living room, which was the biggest room in the house.  At the back of the house off the living room was a hallway with a  linen closet with a laundry chute door in the floor, a bathroom to the right, and her bedroom to the left.  Upstairs was a small bedroom and a small storage room.

Grampa and Gramma Brehmer lived in a little house in Rochester near Goose Egg Park.  They had a little front porch with blue trim.  I think theirs was what is called a shotgun layout.  You walked into the living room, then to the dining room, and then to the kitchen.  Which, by the way, I remember being the size of my shower.  Their bedroom, I believe, was off the dining room and there must have been a bathroom someplace but I don’t remember where.  From the kitchen you could go down 2-3 steps to a landing and either go right down the stairs to the basement or left out the backdoor to the back yard.  Their backyard was mostly flower gardens.  When they lived on the farm, Gramma was the flower person, but once they moved to town, Grampa got involved and took to it like a duck to water.  I remember they had this big plastic chicken with wire prongs that they could stick into the ground so it looked like this chicken was standing in the middle of the yard.  I remember Big Brother and I stayed overnight there one time, and we got to walk several blocks by ourselves to Cook Park to play, but we stayed too long and Grampa had to come looking for us.  I think we stopped at a little ice cream shop on the way home, but that may be a total fabrication of my imagination.  Big Brother would/should know!

I would love to hear from my Brehmer cousins about their memories of Grampa and Gramma Brehmer so I could pass those stories along to my kids.

Heritage

Image courtesy of FindMyAncestry.com

I have been spending a lot of time watching my streaming PBS channel while I crochet.  Being that the weather is not conducive to being outside (with the exception of Snow Shoe Day), there isn't a lot else to do.  One show that has gotten me hooked is called Finding Your Roots with Henry Louis Gates, Jr., who researches the genealogy of celebrities. 

This made me remember that I have documentation of my dad's mom's family which I have never really paid attention to.  My Gramma Brehmer died when I was pretty young.  I have vague memories of her but nothing really concrete.  I have no idea who her parents or siblings were, and isn't that a shame. 

I dug up the genealogy document that my uncle gave to me last year to peruse through it.  I recognized a lot of the surnames:  Schwanke, Siem, Fenske. 

Image courtesy of Teach Me Genealogy.com

As I was reading through it, I came across an excerpt from a newspaper, dated May 5, 1911, that made me realize that my kids came by their saloon game naturally:

"William Benike (a cousin or uncle or some relative to my paternal grandmother) suffers big loss in bad blaze on Tues.

About all that was left of Potsdam was wiped out by fire Tuesday.  The blaze being caused by the chimney at noon time.  The family were at dinner and had a close call, not discovering the roof overhead in flames until it was nearly ready to fall in.  The structure and barn is a total loss, while a few household goods and the bar of the saloon conducted by Mr. Benike were saved."

The document goes on to recount a memory of William's son, Oskar:  Oskar Benike would tell of days his father, William, owned a saloon in Potsdam.  They would go to Rochester to bring liquor back to Potsdam in a wagon.  Gangs of thieves would be waiting at the present location of the outdoor theater on Hwy. 62.  William would tell Oskar to lie down in the wagon and would lace the horses when they were near there. 

So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that my kids like to play saloon!

On the other side of the family, I discovered a tidbit about my maternal grandfather the other night when I went to visit my aunt Donna.  She was showing me a recent antique doll she had been gifted that was manufactured circa World War I.  She said that she had an affinity for World War I because on the day her father was supposed to ship out overseas to join the fighting, the Armistice Day treaty was signed--November 11, 1918.  On November 11, 1940, my aunt Donna was born.

I never, ever knew that Grampa was that close to serving in World War I.  I don't remember my mom ever talking much about her family; more likely, she did talk about it and I just didn't listen. 

Image courtesy of AZ Quotes

The other thing I discovered about Grampa Prokasky was that he shares a birthday with Molly!  Granted, he died long before I was born, but that still seems like something I should have known. 

Staying in the Prokasky family, it's always been a point of pride--I don't know why--that my Gramma Prokasky was a maid for Dr. Plummer and his family and lived at the Plummer House during her employment there.  It's not like that makes me related to the Plummer family at all, but it's a connection to the history of my family and the history of my community.  That's kind of cool. 

Whenever I can talk about the fiasco of Molly's birth certificate without getting angry, I always say I should have petitioned the court to change her name legally so that her middle name was Claire (instead of Ann) in honor of my two grammas who were both named Clara.  If I'd had the money at the time, I would have done it. 

Image courtesy of www.tmgenealogy.com

I wish I would have paid more attention to my elders when they talked about their elders so I would know more of my family history than I do.  That would be my advice to my children and grandchildren:  Let us tell you so you know where you came from.  Ask us questions.  Listen to our stories.  Embrace your heritage!

Remembering Bear

Photo courtesy of Tanya's Adoption Network

Hello, all.  Dipstick the Dog here.  I asked Mrs. Captain if I could have the blog today so I could say thank you to everybody who sent condolences to me and Dayzee on the death of my father and her husband, Bear.

Bear lived an awfully good life.  When the Captains moved back here to the home farm in 2007, they brought Dayzee with them.  Bear was living at the neighbor's and, being a good neighbor, he came to welcome the Captains and Dayzee to the neighborhood.

It was love at first sight, and he never left after that.  He stayed here with his one true love, Dayzee, for the next 12 years.  He never said, but I know he was a proud father as well. 

My family and I have enjoyed so much quality time together barking at leaves, brainwashing cats into thinking they are dogs, chasing cars, and watching the Captains chase cattle.

Bear was the lucky one of the bunch who had the softest coat thanks to his Labrador genes.  He loved to be petted and was actually sort of a pest about it.  Young Man Captain used to pick Bear up and hold him like he was a baby even though Bear weighed over 75 pounds.

We will miss Bear around here, especially Dayzee.  I was worried about her the first few days after Bear died; she grieved kind of hard.  She seems better now, though, but she is showing her age more than ever.

As the new "man of the place," I have taken over Bear's duties of walking with Captain to do his chores and feed the calves.  I'm trying to like being petted as much as Bear did, but I"m not a touchy-feely kind of dog so I'm struggling with that.

Barking at leaves isn't nearly as much fun without Bear, so I've mostly given up on that nightly activity.  Mostly I am guarding the barn and watching over Dayzee.  These snowy days are good for curling up in the straw bed in the barn and napping.

Image courtesy of Bully Rescue & Advocacy Group, Inc.

Again, thank you to everyone who sent their sympathies.  Good friends like you make hard times like this easier.

Until next time,
Dipstick

Harbingers of Spring

I knew that spring was REALLY coming the other night when I fell asleep planning a garden instead of my next scrapghan.  Plus, Greenhouse Day was February 11th.  That's the day that the earth has tilted southward on its axis enough that there is heat in the sun's rays--enough heat the the garden centers can fire up their greenhouses to start the little plants going so I can plant the garden I was dreaming of. 

Greenhouse Day is way more accurate to my mind than the unreliable rodent from the East Coast!

Mother Nature must have gotten the memo also that winter is going to have to give up the ghost soon--please, please, please--and blessed us over the weekend with a beautiful day full of warm (ish) temperatures, blue skies, and lots of sun.

Captain and I took advantage of the mild weather and had a date day.  We had this planned for over a week and I was so excited about it I told everyone I saw about it.  I know, I'm a nerd and it doesn't take much to excite me.  Ask my coworker who listened to me rhapsodize about a pen I liked. 

Anyway, date day.  We are not fancy dinner people, we are not casino people, we are not movie theater people.  We are outdoors city, county, and state park people.  As such our plan was to snow shoe at Oxbow Zoo near Byron. 

Captain had to do chores at a neighbor's in the morning but he was home by 11:00 and we got ready.  Or, we tried to get ready.  Or, more accurately, Captain got ready and waited for me.  I have a pair of muck boots that are great for winter activities.  I have hat and mittens that keep my extremities warm.  I do not own long underwear or snow pants.  I have fleece leggings and a second-hand snowmobile suit that is starting to rip out in the butt.

This is why I was struggling into the pair of snowpants that Molly left here last year when she went ice fishing with her dad.  Remember, Molly is taller and slimmer than I am.  I am what my mom described as squat and sturdy. 

The legs of the snowpants were three inches too long, and I couldn't get the zipper up by myself.  I had to hold the two sides together while Captain zipped me up. 

And then I realized I had to pee.

So then it was reverse the whole dressing thing, pee, and do the dressing thing all over again.  By now I was sweaty, short of breath due to tight snow pants, and ready to get this over with. 

So off we went. 

At Oxbow Zoo, we saw several groups in the parking lot and outside the nature center preparing to cross country ski, but we were the only ones getting snow shoes.  For $3 a pair, it was the cheapest entertainment around!

Captain is trying to figure out his buckles

We snowshoed at Oxbow several years ago, and I am glad to say they have upgraded their rental equipment.  What we had the first time reminded me of tennis rackets with twine string on them.  This time it was the fancy-schmancy aluminum frame ones with straps and buckles.  Lots of straps and lots of buckles.

Eventually we got all strapped in and off we went.  We headed toward the campground via the children's interpretative play area.  Goodness, things look a lot different covered in snow than covered in grass! 

Captain celebrating his inner child

   

Even with the newer equipment, it took awhile to get into the rhythm of walking in snowshoes.  I had to stop every five minutes or so to rest my legs.  I used the excuse of photography to mask my true intent!  Still, I got some nice pictures. 

That's Captain down there waiting for me

Doesn't this look like a little railroad track?!

We looped around through the campground walking beside the cross-country ski trail.  The way they groom it, it looks like a little railroad track!  As we were "resting" in a campsite where we have actually camped in the past, a man came along the ski trail.  I asked him if I could take his picture because the vast whiteness against the blue sky behind him was just too impressive to pass up.  He was a good sport about having the weird old fat lady ask for his picture. 

We continued on along the river over to the picnic area with a bridge across the river.  We have had many picnics in this area over the years, and I have actually played with Cubby on this playground set. 

As we got closer to the bridge, we saw a family group coming across on snowshoes.  They stopped at the top of the steps down the bridge and contemplated the best way to descend.  The two pre-teen boys just plopped on their butts and slid down.  The dad and grampa came down backwards becuase they could dig their toes (with metal gripper teeth) into the snow.  Mom and gramma came down sideways one step at a time holding onto the railing for dear life. 

We stayed back to give them room, but did call out our congratulations on getting down the steps.  At this point, these two pre-teen boys went R-U-N-N-I-N-G across the snow in their snowshoes.  Up to that point, I had been feeling pretty righteous about my snowshoeing capabilities, but now I was a sail with the wind sucked out.

Since standing on that bridge happens to be a tradition of ours when we visit Oxbow, we ascended the steps as well and I did get some nice pictures.  Excuse Captain's shadow; I could avoid it.  When it was time to go back down the steps, I apparently forgot the lesson I'd learned watching the other people do it.  Instead of going down backwards, I tried going down sideways holding onto the railing for dear life.  Yeah, not so graceful but at least I didn't end up on my butt. 

We followed along the river for a little ways and then looped back because someone's (that'd be me) legs were getting sore and crampy.  I'm pretty sure Captain could have kept going for another hour.  I guess that new hip of his is working well. 

Back at the nature center, we returned our snowshoes and then wandered out to the zoo to see who was awake. 

Not the otters, darn it!  The wolves were awake and moving and actually came over to sniff in Captain's direction.  We decided it was because he was wearing his chore coat and probably smelled like supper. 

The zoo staff were just feeding the bobcat and lynx when we got there, so that was fun to watch.  And we learned something new--I love when that happens!  Another group of visitors who were also watching the cat feeding routine noticed that in the next block of cages about 100 yards away, the foxes were anticipating their lunch by tearing around in circles in their pens. 

Deciding that lunch was a darn good idea, we loaded up and headed to McDonalds in Byron.  Normally we avoid fast food places, but we didn't want to waste time taking off our outer gear to be presentable to go to a sit down place. 

By the time we got back home, we were both pretty tired, but it was a good kind of tired.  The kind of tired from having been active and energetic. 

I know that Mother Nature will throw more rounds of winter at us before I can actually plant that garden I dreamed about, but getting out into the fresh air and sunshine for awhile will help me get through whatever she has in mind. 

Plus I got to spend the day with my guy!  Isn't he the cutest thing?

That's my guy!