Random Thoughts

If you had to live with Captain for any length of time, you would need your own dictionary for his language, as follows:

Definition	Captain’s pronunciation	Correct pronunciation
Food borne illness	bowl-ah-till-ism	botch-u-lism
Machine to harvest corn	com-BINE	COM-bine
pertaining to mechanics	meck-ah-nickle	Muh-can-ickle
clothing for legs	slacks	pants
plastic grocery bags	satchel	sack
school book carrier	knapsack	backpack
mailer	en-VEL-up	EN-vuh-lope

We have all learned to adjust and recognize these Captain-isms, but the problem is, we are so used to them that sometimes we use them in public, which can be embarrassing.  Or, conversely, we use the right pronunciation and then second-guess and use Captain’s version only to have to go back to the correct pronunciation.

Don’t get me wrong, I use some old-fashioned words or phrases too.  I grew up at a time when those undergarments women wear under dresses or skirts was called a petticoat...so that’s what I still call it rather than a slip.  A slip is when you face plant in the snow after stepping on a patch of ice.

Like Captain, I don’t always refer to clothing for legs as pants.  Sometimes I say britches...and not just when using the phrase “too big for your britches.”  I don’t know why.  

Maybe it’s a from-the-country thing.

I just saw a post on Facebook from Mama Bear that the best thing about being from the country is knowing where “over yonder” is.   It’s usually by “the old Smith place” and the Smith’s are people who haven’t lived in that particular place for 50 years or more.  

Getting directions from someone from the country involves landmarks, not odometer readings.  

To get to the field I’m at, you have to go a ways on the River Road until you get to the old tree that got hit by lightning back in ‘84.  Turn left on the gravel road and cross the bridge at Pumpkin Hollow.  Not too far after that, I’ll be in the field on the left next to Smith’s barn that partly burned down a few years back.

Sure, I can find that.  NOT!  I like MapQuest or my GPS lady where I get exact odometer readings, which direction to turn, and little hints like “If you come to X Road, you have gone 0.2 miles too far.”  I can maybe find my way with those directions.  

Compass points were a struggle for me until I was well out of high school.  I don’t know why...I understood early on that the sun came up in the east and set in the west, so you’d think I would be able to determine north and south from that.  Nope.  Lucky for me, now I not only have GPS on my phone, I have compass indicators in my car that tell me exactly which direction I am going.  I have at least gotten to a point where if I am off track, I usually know which direction to head to get home...whether it be north and west or south and east.  I always figure I will run into a town or major roadway that is familiar enough I can find my way back home.  

If not, we always have a map--or as Captain calls it, an atlas--in the car!