Middle children...UNITE!

August 12 has been designated by someone--and I would like to know who--as National Middle Child Day.  

Then again, there is a “day” for everything.  Seriously, I bet if you looked really hard you could find a National Eat Your Boogers Day because you know somewhere there are people who do that and like it.  

I get the reason behind Mother’s Day (duh), Father’s Day, and Grandparent’s Day.  Valentine’s Day is just a hyped up holiday to sell candy and cards.  What I want to know is what’s the deal with Groundhog’s Day.  

Seriously people, spring will come when God decides spring is going to come and no vermin-infested rodent from some town that no one can pronounce in Pennsylvania will change that.  And how does this stupid fur ball know that he must poke his head out of his hole on February 2 in time to be seen live on the Today Show?  Does someone call him and let him know?  Does he have a little rodent alarm clock set to atomic time?  What if he is a middle child groundhog and just doesn’t want to conform?

As I look forward at other celebrational days on the handy little calendar I found online (yes, it was on the Internet, so it MUST be true) I see that August 27 is National Just Because Day.  Seriously?  We need to designate a day dedicated to doing something “just because”?  Isn’t that called spontaneity?  Well, at least now you know if you see someone (or do something yourself) that might ordinarily be considered odd...you can play the “It’s National Just Because Day” card.  Go for it, let me know how that works for ya.  

But back to today’s celebration.  Maybe middle children needed their own day because they have been maligned as trouble makers for years.  I resent that, being a middle child myself.  Why stereotype middle children, or anyone else for that matter.  Who decides that first-borns are responsible, mature, and tend toward overachiever status?  Who decides that last-borns are spoiled ingrates who got everything handed to them?  And who in blue blazes thought it was a nice thing to label middle children as trouble makers?  

I don’t know what personality quirks other “middles” might have, but mine is procrastination.  I put everything off and not just the big stuff like the farm books and the bills, it’s the little stuff too.  Take mailing a birthday card, f’rinstance.  This is a four-day ordeal for me.  Day 1--write out the card.  Day 2--address the envelope.  Day 3--put a stamp on the envelope.  Day 4--put it in the mailbox.  Seriously...what the fudge?  I don’t normally eat a big bowl of stupid for breakfast, so why is it so hard for me to accomplish a simple task like putting a birthday card in the mail?!  I don’t know.  It’s a study for the ages.  

Salon appointments used to be the same way.  I’d think to myself, I need to get my hair cut.  And days--weeks--would go by until I would wake up one morning looking like Aunt Hilda Touched A Light Socket.  At that point, there were no appointments available when I would call because--hey--all the smart people had called last week!  I have figured this one out after years of Aunt Hilda episodes, and I make my next appointment before I leave the salon.  So I’m a slow learner...flog me.  

Maybe you don’t have a celebration day, and maybe you do.  I’ll just say make every day a “Happy Day”...whatever day it is.  Do things you like, see people you love, sing songs that make you happy.  Have a happy!